Yesterday the sun rose on the longest day of 2015.
Heralding the beginning of Summer & hopefully bringing with it hotter, happy days ahead.
I am hoping for brighter days for myself. Spontaneous days, lying in the sun with a good book days and spending time with my little family which grew by one last year last year and makes my heart sing with joy.So much I have to be thankful for, yet that can't take away from feelings - the way I feel at the moment. I have a deep rooted sadness that always threatens to engulf me, spill over me, uncontrolled. I always struggle to control it, yet often I have no control, reminders jump in, at the least convenient times. Often at what should be a happy family occasion......
I wonder will I always have it? I truly hope not. I am determined I do not pass this nagging sadness to my children, it is a family matter, yet I hope it does not affect them, their decisions, their ability to feel guilt free for decisions they make in life. I instill in them to be who and to do what they want to do, not be responsible for how other people may react to those decisions.
I write here from the heart, to blog I need to be in a good place, yet I feel this post had to be written, maybe it will help to move me forward, to maybe leave here some of the hurt I currently feel.
Small steps.
My garden is full of the most beautiful wild flowers - I have just picked these below, a cheery addition to the kitchen! :-)
Next Summer Solstice I want to get out and celebrate - I loved reading about some of the celebrations held throughout the UK - the making of floral crowns, the simple lighting of a candle, sailing paper boats with a blessing to bring love and luck to the finder and sing and dance around a bonfire with a picnic to feast on! Summer Solstice 2016 watch out!
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